This week, I continue to blog on the virtue of honesty. Honesty with others can be something that comes natural to you or something that you must consciously work on. In my professional experience, at times it is easy to tell when someone is being dishonest. But there are people I have met in my life who seemingly create this alter-reality out of lies. Honesty, goes beyond lying. It is absolute acceptance of truth, in thoughts, words, and actions. The quote I chose today really makes you think about the kind of person you are towards others. It states: “Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships.” ~Author Unknown
I’m sure you can think of various relationships (whether work, friendship, familial, business, or exclusive) that you have had in your life where certain people carried on airs of superficiality. Even writing this down now, some people pop into my mind immediately. There are people who seriously battle the virtue of honesty, with themselves and others. Sometimes dishonesty in a relationship is a defense. For example, when you ask a significant other if he or she likes the shirt you are wearing and he/she replies with “yes.” If you know this person well enough, you can usually read his/her intention. That person may truly hide his or her own opinion to placate yours. I’m not condoning this behavior, I am simply trying to make you aware of the lengths that lies travel. Are you protecting your loved-one from hurt? Are you used to lying about things so frequently that the lie escapes past your lips before you realize it?
Honesty is the best policy. I know you have heard that a million times throughout your life, but it really holds value. You see, when you lie to other people, whether or not your intentions are sincere, the bottom line is: it’s still a lie. Soon, you are building lies upon lies. The quote above is stating that you develop a phoniness that you mistaken for nobility or sincerity. What happens then is that you mistaken your dishonesty for something that is good. In turn, you will never be able to be completely honest, with yourself or others. There is a level of emotional maturity where a person might step back and say “whoa, I gotta fix this.” But more often than not, she or he continues on the path of dishonesty, unaware of the harmful side effects. I have seen this so many times. I believe in being honest, no matter the cost.
One of the positive things that I have learned from having an honest relationship with others is that you will have more disagreements. People are autonomous. But sometimes in a relationship, they shift and mold to fit into a specific relational space, not realizing that what they’re doing is harmful to themselves and their significant others. Honesty with others means dissonances. However, the flip side to this is a deliberate knowing that you are creating a life of peace because you know that honesty is priceless.
If you choose to be introspective for a moment, close your eyes and really think about your individuality. Are you honest with yourself? Are you honest with others? Honesty is vital to your identity. Do you identify with people who are more superficial? If you answered yes, I suggest you reflect on the things that matter most to you and see where your superficialities stand. Lying about who you are or what you believe around others actually reinforces what you say and do, and who you become. If you want to be happy, seek joy, find peace, it all starts with living a more virtuous life.
Hypnotherapy can go into a deeper levels of the subconscious mind and work out the kinks for a permanent change. It has one of the highest success rates because it truly works. Now, if you cannot or do not want to do this, I offer affirmations for you. These affirmations are part of mental training. In the Living the Virtues Series, each week you are given affirmations to practice during the week. Say these out loud, in front of a mirror, or walking to your office, or during meditation. The choice is yours. Your affirmations this week are: “I choose to be honest with others.” “I put aside feelings and decide to be honest.” “I love being honest with people and find myself drawn to people that are honest with me.” “I genuinely want to tell the truth to others and doing so creates peace in my life.” These affirmations will help you implement honesty with others into your life to better yourself. If you want to be more honest with others, there is no better time to start than now. Thanks for reading. InJoy your day!