February 28, 2014

February’s Theme is Love vs Fear

As February, the most romantic month,  draws to a close, now would be a good time to reflect on one of the most important things in life: LOVE.  Do you believe that you are fulfilling your life purpose, or that you truly love people? How do you even feel about love? As you may or may not know, I have talked a lot about ego, your conscious analytical mind, thought patterns, habits and perceptions in different articles and teachings. If you understand the impact of your ego, conscious analytical mind and thought patterns on your life, you can see so clearly how fear-based thoughts contribute to so much unhappiness and insanity in your life. So what I want to look at here is real love, not the Cinderella kind, and how love connects to your life purpose.

I have been looking at different love quotes and information pertaining to love. I haven’t been looking to define or contribute to Cinderella stories of love, though. There is a way in which our society portrays love in movies, books and stories, that tends to create a false belief and perception. Eventually , this causes a lot of pain, disappointment, anger and sadness in people’s lives. At least, that has been my experience with clients and in my own life. Those false perceptions end up creating a lot of self doubt and questions, like: “Why isn’t that happening for me?” or “Why don’t I feel like they do?” The stories people believe about how love looks, how a relationship is supposed to be and how different experiences are supposed to go, just don’t match up to the Cinderella version. Of course, your human perception of what real love is will differ for everyone. But in general, I think I will explain it well enough here for everyone to understand what I mean by ‘real love’, and its impact on fulfilling your life purpose.

For help with this topic, I have turned to David Richo, who is an author, psychotherapist, teacher and workshop leader in California. He brings together transpersonal psychology, different religious theories, mythology, poetry and his own life experiences combined. Of all the information I have read, his seems to be the most concise that I have seen in addressing the topic of real love.

So the quote I chose was from his book: Everyday Commitments: Choosing a Life of Love, Realism, and Acceptance. The quote is: “I ask this question as I embark upon any relationship or project: Is this a suitable context for me to fulfill my life purpose? My life purpose is to love with all my might, in the style uniquely mine, in every way I can, here and now, always and everywhere, no one excluded.”

I love that he starts off talking about life’s purpose, because that is another thing that gets tossed around in different areas of life from religions and careers, to different philosophies. Everyone is trying to figure out his or her life purpose. I love how he brought it in to something that is so general yet so huge. A “…life purpose to love with all my might…” I also appreciate that he put: “…in the style uniquely mine…” because all of us are unique individuals. Even though we are connected through species with so many similarities, our opinions are as different as snowflakes; no two are alike. The way our minds and bodies work show that we are so similar to the point of having a oneness, like a bond; but there is also a uniqueness about each one of us as well.

I personally love to honor that uniqueness. I love to recognize that we are unique in many ways, and have a style of loving that is uniquely ours. We may define it in different ways, based on how we express and feel love, yet, it is the same thing in each of us. So loving with all our might in a style that is uniquely ours, is a way of fulfilling our life purpose, while honoring and respecting who we are and how we choose to live a loving life in every way that we can.

There are opportunities around you at all times to express love. As you radiate from a place of love and compassion and pass that along to other people, it not only contributes to their life experiences, but it also contributes to your own. Here and now, choose not to waste any time living a life of purpose by holding back love for people – even from yourself. It is amazing to me how much time people think they have and because of that, how much time they end up wasting. You never really know how much time you have to live, do you?

I have a friend who was making some amazing plans. She was so excited to move back to what she considered ‘home’; a place where she has family, where there are things for her children to do, and possibilities beyond that which are available where she lives now. I was so excited she was ready to make that move because I knew it would be really great for her, based on what she said she wanted for herself and her children’s lives. But then she told me they would be going in 10 years. When I heard that, I sat in amazement. I thought about how something that seemed so great, wonderful, and in alignment with their preferences, desires, needs, health and care for her children (one has special needs), was perfect for them now. I thought 10 years…wow… that’s unbelievable. Do people even know if they will be around in 10 years? I don’t know if I will be here in 10 years, tomorrow or next week even. Think about that for a moment. I know it gives me so much incentive to live and BE in the here and now. There is no better time than right now to live a life of purpose in love.

I try to love, uniquely in my own way, in every way I can, in the here and now, every day. I try to be present in each of those moments and love the best I can in each of those moments – always and everywhere. This is without exception. Always and everywhere, no matter what is happening in your life or around you, you need to try to love the best you can. You need to find that place in your heart that brings about the best in you, and puts you in the healthiest place to be able to love in that moment. When you do, you will affect the world around you in a positive way; from a place of love.

As you live your life purpose in love, it has a rippling effect. You are responsible for your thoughts and energies that you radiate at all times. Whether you realize it or not, energy radiates from each one of us; it is what you sense when people walk into a room and you know it is there. It happens subtly through brain scans and picking up on electrical energy as you use different parts of the brain or different aspects of the mind. You can’t necessarily see the energy, but it is perceptibly present.

Your energy actually hits the cells of your body first, which is what you feel, and then you define it in whatever word you have come to label it with that makes sense to you. But it also radiates even further out from there where others experience it as well. It is a continual wave of energy that begins inside of you, and it has the ability to affect everything around you (including people). So if you want to live a life of purpose in love and exude a loving kind of energy, then you need to experience love, always and everywhere, with all your might, in a style uniquely yours, in every way you can, here and now – no one excluded. That means nobody!

If you struggle with the thought of loving everyone, consider what it means to be compassionate. I know the Dali Lama talks a lot about compassion. You can learn a lot from him and his insights into the study of compassion. He will help you recognize that you have the capacity to love every single human being. This is especially true, the more you love yourself. You know the challenges you have been through and yet you can still love yourself. You know the struggles you have had with thought patterns, your ego and fears. The more you break through those and have clarity on that aspect of self; the more you love and love and love yourself through all of those things that they eventually dissipate, the better positioned you are to share that love with others. Fear fades; that darkness goes away. From that place, you love yourself more and more. You experience that really wonderful feeling within you that you label as love.

When you reach that comfort level, the world looks much different for you. As you look at other human beings you will see the fear they react from, ego they feed into, and thought patterns that cause them to react in certain ways. When you can recognize that in them, you will then have compassion for them. The struggles don’t mean there is something wrong with those people, but as you see them struggle, you can relate to what they are caught up in because you know you have been there yourself. Compassion helps you to find the ability to love other people.

How many times you have gone back into that old way of living, and how with love, you have come out of it over and over again? It is a wonderful place to be, to be able to love others with compassion and understanding. Thanks to David Richo and his quote: “I ask this question as I embark upon any relationship or project: Is this a suitable context for me to fulfill my life purpose? My life purpose is to love with all my might, in the style uniquely mine, in every way I can, here and now, always and everywhere, no one excluded.” I like to think that if you really immerse yourself in this quote and what it means, you will learn how fulfilling your life’s purpose will lead to an abundance of love.

For more information on David Richo, you can go to his website at: www.DavidRicho.com. If you would like more information on how I can help you out with getting to this place of love, please contact me. I hope you have an amazing amount of love in your heart today, and you extend it out to everyone and everything you come in contact with. It really does help you fulfill your life purpose, if you live your purpose in love. Thanks for reading. InJoy your day!

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